New Member

Big news - Tim is the new Hot Shot. He changes everything, instantly becoming the tallest man in Mamba. There's a lot to fear about this person -- His height, his down low presence, and the unknown factor.

I suggest we look at the matchups at our next Mamba, choose teams that seem fair, and start a new series. B-flo is still out with a sprained thumb, but he returns on July 13th. We'll plan to start it up then.

A Q&A with the new player:

1. What are you?
Tall, lanky and competitive.

2. Why do you shoot the ball 200 feet into the air?

Because when it drops there's nothing prettier.

3. Who do you most fear in Mamba and why?

Nick - He rains buckets in bitches faces all day.

4. Predict your stats after five games (FG%, Points Per Game, Rebounds Per Game, Steals Per Game, and Blocks per game)

FG% - 51%
PPG - 22
RPG - 12
SPG - 3
BPG - 4

5. Steven Segal is a winner because he knows kung fu AND he has a ponytail. What two characteristics make you a winner?

1. Inverted elbows - a deformation that gives me deceivingly long reach.
2. I play defense.

6. In the past we've seen the intensity of brother on brother battle (e.g. Charlie and Lightning). Though I already know the answer to this question, who do you see winning the brother battle between you and I?

Same as in the 2002 one-day bball tourney -- Timothy Sean.

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...in other news Dr. Sessions sent this to me. Has Dan W. been hiding something from us?

New Beginnings

for every death there is new life. today pop's greatest legend died. today a new NBAbaby was born. his name is ShaBron O'James, or LeBraq for short.

as if today's events aren't enough for you, chew on this. Hot Shot is no more. Yes, you read that correctly. I'll repeat it just in case you don't believe it - HOT SHOT IS NO MORE. Only weeks after Hot Shot Koster first donned his personalized Mamba shirt, he goes and leaves the league. His excuse? That he's moving back to Long Island. To that, I say "big deal." Stallion drives the drive every monday. Lightning is practically on Long Island, yet he too arrives every Monday with a bright white smile and a boundless love for all living things.

After passing through all phases of trauma - denial, anger, etc. - I have finally come to terms with this new development. I understand if you are angry. I was angry, too. Cry if you must.

What does this mean for Mamba? Good question. I think it means we recruit a new player and start a new league (keeping all our old career stats, of course). Should the new player go through some sort of initiation? I think so. My suggestion is that we make the new player go "asses up" against the wall while we take turns hurling basketballs at him. That's just my two cents.

Dr. Sessions is out this Monday. I'm hoping to have a new league started by the Monday after.

-neal

I watched tonight's NBA draft. I was not drafted, nor was anyone else in the MAMBA. we remain an underground league of hidden talent.

Father's Day

We are all fathers. Fathers of Mamba. Embrace your baby. Cradle her in your arms and love her. Celebrate your day, Fathers of Mamba.

Tomorrow is a league game. Be ready.

MAMBA shirts - Kevin's team
White shirts - B-flo's team

At the moment it's looking like we're going to have a 3-point shooting contest before the game. $2 per man, winner takes all. Last time it was way too complicated coming up with a system to replicate the NBA contest. This time maybe we scrap the stopwatch and just let each guy take the shots on his own clock.

n

3-point

Who are you?

June 15th is a league game, Lou.

You'll notice that the title of today's post is directed at Lou and no one else. Mamba players still don't know for sure why he canceled last Monday. Did his toenail fall off? Did he get a tattoo on his chest? Whatever the excuse, the league game has been rescheduled for this Monday.

MAMBA shirts - b-flo, workley, lightning, eagle, and carlson
White shirts - weevil, dr. sessions, koster, stallion, and motorbreath

patrick dominated last monday, dropping his outside shot, hitting turnaround hooks, driving strong to the lane, ripping at least 15 steals. he was scary and not human.

Stallion has been playing like a crazy man lately and i finally figured out why.

He's Becoming A Daddy!

now it all makes sense -- the stallion is treating the basketball as though it is his own baby. next time you're on the court, notice how he cradles the ball between his arms and chest as he looks for someone to pass to. notice how he bounces the ball with extreme grace and care. he is not reckless with it. he is gentle and nurturing, like a good italian father. congrats, stallion.

Lightning suggested we each chip in and purchase an official NBA game ball. They cost $93 on amazon. As with everything, majority wins. here's the poll:

JUNE 8 - BE READY

This coming Monday is a league game. The only legitimate excuse for not attending is loss of major limb. In other words, you lose your pinkie, you play. you lose a leg, you have a one-game excused absence.

The Stallion was not human last night, hitting everything he touched. If his italian supertouch continues next week, me and the rest of my team are in for a long night. Then again, he didn't have 41.6 guarding him.

I flipped a coin to determine who has the privilege of wearing their Mamba shirts first.

MAMBA SHIRTS - stallion, motorbreath, weevil, koster, and dr. sessions
WHITE SHIRTS - lightning, eagle, carlson, workley, and b-flo

cameras will be on. the pressure returns.

neal