Box Score and The Wrath of Motorbreath

POST ADDITION: Tim will be known as the FLYING DUTCHMAN from now on in Mamba.

dr. sessions sent me an email this morning with stats for the last mamba game. a single tear came rolling down my face. this was not a tear of sadness, it was a tear of joy. with one quick move, the doctor has revolutionized record-keeping. crazy props to him for introducing two crucial categories: 3pt. attempts / made / percentage and turnovers.

	FGM	FGA	FG%	3PM	3PA	3P%	OR	DR	Reb	Stl	Blk	Ast	TO	Pts
Workley	4	19	21.1%	0	0	0.0%	2	5	7	1	0	2	5	8
B-Flo	3	19	15.8%	0	0	0.0%	5	7	12	2	3	2	2	6
Dr. Sessions	8	22	36.4%	0	1	0.0%	7	5	12	6	2	1	3	16
Neal	11	28	39.3%	0	1	0.0%	11	10	21	1	4	6	8	22
Motorbreath	11	31	35.5%	0	0	0.0%	12	18	30	10	1	5	7	22
Team	37	119	31.1%	0	2	0.0%	37	45	82	20	10	16	25	74
	FGM	FGA	FG%	3PM	3PA	3P%	OR	DR	Reb	Stl	Blk	Ast	TO	Pts
Lightning	1	11	9.1%	0	0	0.0%	2	2	4	4	0	7	9	2
Stallion	10	28	35.7%	1	6	16.7%	11	13	24	6	1	1	8	21
Eagle	6	35	17.1%	1	12	8.3%	4	9	13	4	0	2	2	13
Weevil	6	23	26.1%	2	5	40.0%	2	3	5	2	0	0	1	14
Tim	5	11	45.5%	0	1	0.0%	6	9	15	3	7	4	4	10
Team	28	108	25.9%	4	24	16.7%	25	36	61	19	8	14	24	60

what can we gather from this data? for starters it reinforces what we've been saying for weeks - that Motorbreath has been playing in a league of his own. He becomes the 1st Black Mamba to achieve the elusive triple-double. I don't know what to say about 22pts, 30 boards and 10 steals. Polling the best player seems pointless. Motorbreath, you are playing with venom in your veins.

Eagle, not so much. Granted he suffered a gross finger injury and he wears a brace on virtually every inch of his body, but come on. We're talking about one of the league's highest scorers. 13 points from Eagle is plain gross - not as gross as that finger injury, but still gross.

Why else was this game so lopsided? If Tim's FG% was no mirage, he needs a lot more touches. Tim could be one of the most crucial components of this team's success. Last monday's performance had some pretty scary moments (7 blocks), but 15 rebounds is sort of puny for the league's biggest man.

The rebound advantage is huge, especially when compared with 3pt attempts. Most of the missed 3s on the losing team were 1-shot possessions. Worth noting is that many of those came in garbage time, which probably explains why the number of attempts were so high.

On a personal note, having the 2nd highest turnover total makes me feel a little bit unclean. I read that number and then washed my body several times with Irish Spring. this is a number I don't want to see again.

MAMBA league is back!

n

Violence

A couple of players have noticed the increasing violence on the court during Mamba games. I think we are all at fault.

Here's the common scenario. It's late in the game. You are exhausted. A member of the opposing team drives to the basket. You make a split second decision: either hustle to position yourself in between him and the basket or recklessly swipe at his arm as he drives past you. You choose the reckless swipe.

Let us remember that basketball is a game of finesse, strategy, and execution. Fouls are inevitable and part of the game, but let's all try to cut down on the intentional and/or lazy hacks. We also might want to consider awarding 2 free throws on fouls that occur on open fast break layup attempts.

FEW OTHER THINGS:

-my team wore Mamba last game, so this Monday we wear white.
-guy with the ball is responsible for calling the foul, otherwise play continues. respect the call.
-both teams need to come up with a name for their team.
-dan w's commentary was great, but i would like to add one thing. would his team please bring some semblance of a game next monday? it was too easy.

neal

WEEVIL's postgame analysis

introducing the first official postgame commentary from last night's deadliest outside shooter, Weevil. I thought I provided thorough analysis, then I read this:


Yesterday MAMBA began anew with new teams. Lightning, Weevil, Eagle, Stallion, and, uh, Tim vs. Workley, B-Flo, Dr. Sessions, Motorbreath, and, um, Neal.

The sides were pretty much the same as the unofficial game from last week, with B-Flo in for Charlie. The discussion before the game was whether I should be traded for Dr. Sessions so as to even out a perceived rebounding advantage. While I believe Dr. Sessions is indeed an effective down low presence and he has just over 2 inches on me, the thought of his rebounding vs. mine being a game deciding factor did not make much sense to me. If that were indeed a game changer, I would think I could focus on putting enough butt on him to correct that. While B-Flo is more of a rebounder than Charlie, Charlie brings some other things to the table that I thought pretty much would keep things even. Since we won the week before (if I remember correctly), I didn't think these sides would be so mismatched.

The end result told a different tale, but I don't think this team is too concerned about this being indicative of our future together.

I will tell the tale of the beginning of the game from my pesonal perspective because it is the only perspective I have. I stepped into the gym feeling a little creaky in the knee. Shooting outside shots hurt - I didn't even feel I had the energy to practice them, so I went to one of the side baskets and shot from like 1 foot away to try to up my inside game for the night. But once the cameras started rolling and we were quickly down 4-0 and I found myself with an open look for 3 from the left side, I felt I had to put it up. It felt like crap, about a foot to the left and too strong, and I screamed out 'off' to give my teammates a heads up, but it shockingly banked in.

I soon found myself open for 3 again, and this time it was a swish. Over the next few minutes I knocked in another triple, a few 18 footers from head on, a baseline J after a fake that was toally out of rhythm, and pretty much everything was swishing. I felt like I was pouring warm caramel into a glass of milk, even though I've never done that. I felt like my wrist was born in the rim and was never asked to leave home. It was pretty much the hottest streak I ever had. I may never shoot a jump shot in warmups again.

As utterly fantastic as I was in the first half, the fact that I was the leading scorer on our team at halftime was indicative of a major problem. While at 40-33 we weren't exactly getting destroyed, Phil and Nick and Tim weren't scoring nearly as much as they should've been. I should be the 4th option on this team, not the first. And I wasn't taking any more shots than usual, they just happened to be going in. I have not been able to put my finger on the exact reason why Phil and Nick weren't scoring. Was it Brian? Perhaps there was no reason. I saw a lot of shots go up that looked wide open and shot well and just didn't go in.

But Tim unfortunately was suffering from a problem our entire team was suffering from the entire game on both ends: Pat. Pat was a freaking beast this evening and just kept beasting us and beasting us. I felt like Neal wasn't scoring as much as he normally does, especially from the perimeter. Kev was killing me down low when he got the ball, but I thought I at least did a decent enough job denying him - he didn't get many touches. Brian was making some nice drives but I didn't feel he was capitalizing. And Dan P I thought had a decent night at the rim and in transition, but wasn't getting the open J looks he usually gets.

None of that mattered, because Pat repeatedly barrelled down the lane like an 18 wheeler covered in long orange hair.

Maybe the numbers are going to show me to be completely wrong, but I feel like Pat had about 40 points on us. He freaking destroyed us.

I'm used to playing on his team, and he usually scores a ton of points off of steals in transition, which is a bit unique considering he's the biggest guy on the court. But what impressed me tonight was that those drives were coming just as easily in the half court set. A few times I found myself faced with him on the switch and I just didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't reach the ball and I didn't want to resort to violence. But more than that, I was afraid I was going to be flattened to a crisp if he crashed into me. I would try to go for the ball from the side, but it was so futile it left me feeling weak, slow, and stupid.

The game ended very sadly. It was maybe a 9 or 11 point game, but there was enough distance to 80 left that we could've gotten our selves back into it - I wouldn't necessarily have bet on it, but this is basketball - a comeback was well within reason. But then it was announced that we only had 10 minutes left. At the rate both teams were scoring there was no way either team would've hit the required 80, let alone us having to put nearly 30 more points on the board in that time. The second that announcement was made, we completely tanked it. Phil shot 7 threes in a row from 5 feet behind the line. I called him off and told him to go down low so I could give him the ball threr until a second later I saw a running 15 foot hook shot that looked like a better option to me and missed it about 2 feet to the right. The game was over.

While we might have smiled our way into a few extra minutes of play with the security guard, the game only went to 76 because Bobby Beats broke his own face open on an ultraviolent defensive play. Pat was angered that we did not make it to 80, but broken faces are not his concern. Maybe he was about to break 50 or something, I dunno. I was glad to end the misery.

I don't think that anyone thinks this game is indicative of how the rest of the series will go. With similar teams the week before, we cruised to 80 with 15 minutes to spare, and were not easily destroyed by our enemies. While Brain brings a lot of physicality, I don't think that was taking open shots out of the rim for us. Nick had a good second half, and rarely has an off one, so I expect him to continue from there next game. Phil can play a heck of a lot better. All night he was missing shots that he always makes. I don't remember his patented turnaround down low going in once. I thought Rob did a great job bringing up the ball and forcing the issue, but he wasn't hitting at the rate we've recently come to expect, despite getting great looks. Our big task, though, is to find a way to get Tim the good looks he was getting the week before. We tried moving me down low for the second half to try to relieve some of the pressure off him, but I don't think that worked. Personally, I think he might need to face up and try that rainbow jumper some more next time. Maybe that will draw Motorbreath outside more, which could free the lanes up for our All-Italian wing duo.

Sometimes shots fall for some and not for others. Such is the random bounce of the ball. Tonight they fell for me, but not for my teammates. May they someday fall for us all again.

What Am I?

what is this strange sensation I feel today. maybe it is fear. but fear of what?

Fear of a last minute cancellation? perhaps. we're so close to a league game and so far the stars seem aligned.

Fear of playing under the ruthless eye of the handycam? that is more likely the root. my shot has been junk lately and I worry about taking a hit on my FG%. after all, my mamba number is 41.6, named after the league leading shooting percentage. on the day my shirt arrived i vowed never to sink below that number. time will tell.

a few words of advice:

1. drink gallons of water today. i have a feeling its going to be a scorcher.
2. don't look for hot shot on the court because he's not playing.
3. singing slayer lyrics while you play will make your game better.

kevin has been nice enough to take stats, coincidentally as i start my class in statistics. i would also like to see someone step up and write post game analysis....maybe weevil or motorbreath?

bring a white shirt and your mamba shirt.

n

Stats and Shirts

a few players have said that we are all different players now, after 6 months of hustle and sweat. I would agree. This raises the question:



It's an interesting question, especially since there's been a change in the roster.

everyone bring their Mamba shirt and a white shirt on Monday. once we have teams set, we'll shoot for the right to wear Mamba.

it seems almost too good to be true. after months of waiting, the cameras will roll once again. every 3-pointer, every ugly hook shot, caught on tape for all the world to see and set to the beautiful music of Billy Joel.

n

gear up

a few things remain clear:

1. we have become full-fledged MAAs (middle aged athletes).
2. 5 0n 5 is so much better than 4 on 4.
3. when they said they would turn on the AC during games, they lied.
4. tim adds a new intensity to the game.
5. motorbreath has not been human lately.

come prepared this monday to begin a new series. also come prepared to vote on one of these two teams:

#1 (based on last monday's team)
Patrick, Neal, Kevin, Dan P. and Brian
Nick, Dan W, Rob, Phil and Tim

#2 (Rob's suggested teams)
Patrick, Neal, Dan W, Dan P. and Brian
Nick, Kevin, Rob, Phil and Tim


*** note the schedule on the left of the screen. the dates in red are dates we don't have games.

the new series starts monday. bring your ass.

neal

New Member

Big news - Tim is the new Hot Shot. He changes everything, instantly becoming the tallest man in Mamba. There's a lot to fear about this person -- His height, his down low presence, and the unknown factor.

I suggest we look at the matchups at our next Mamba, choose teams that seem fair, and start a new series. B-flo is still out with a sprained thumb, but he returns on July 13th. We'll plan to start it up then.

A Q&A with the new player:

1. What are you?
Tall, lanky and competitive.

2. Why do you shoot the ball 200 feet into the air?

Because when it drops there's nothing prettier.

3. Who do you most fear in Mamba and why?

Nick - He rains buckets in bitches faces all day.

4. Predict your stats after five games (FG%, Points Per Game, Rebounds Per Game, Steals Per Game, and Blocks per game)

FG% - 51%
PPG - 22
RPG - 12
SPG - 3
BPG - 4

5. Steven Segal is a winner because he knows kung fu AND he has a ponytail. What two characteristics make you a winner?

1. Inverted elbows - a deformation that gives me deceivingly long reach.
2. I play defense.

6. In the past we've seen the intensity of brother on brother battle (e.g. Charlie and Lightning). Though I already know the answer to this question, who do you see winning the brother battle between you and I?

Same as in the 2002 one-day bball tourney -- Timothy Sean.

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...in other news Dr. Sessions sent this to me. Has Dan W. been hiding something from us?