UP CLOSE & PERSONAL - Dan W

he makes the most outrageous faces of any Mamba player. he can tell you everything about every NBA player who ever lived. he is Dan W, aka Weevil and here's a vacation inside his mind:

1. What are you?

A beetle belonging to the Curculionide family with an elongated snout that is destructive to nuts, fruits, stems and roots.

2. If you could be any beast, living or dead, real or fictional, which beast would you be? Why?

Probably the devil. He seems to have fun, no one can beat him, and I can keep my arrogance.

3. Your career stats are 21.5% FG, 8.0 Rbs/game, 0.9 Steals/game, 0.3 blocks/game, 0.9 assists/game. Which of these numbers are you satisfied with? Which categories are you looking to improve in? What are your ideal numbers?

I'm actually digusted by all of these numbers and very disappointed in myself for mis-producing them. I'd like them to be 40%, 15 rbs, oh, actually .9 steals is pretty good for me, i'll keep it (never been my thing)... 1.5 blocks, 3 assists... basically I expect to be at least above average at everything except steals, and very efficient from the field. But I've been nothing of the sort. I will point out however, that my points per game is still right near the league average, which tells you something about me. That no matter what, I manage to get mine.

4. Some people play like Sade - smooth and graceful, yet seductively manipulative. Others play like Slayer - hard, aggressive and fast. Which musical artist best symbolizes your game, and why?
Surprising you ask this, because I recently joined a band called Sadéyer, which exclusively performs Sadé songs in a Slayer style. And that sums me up as a player as well. I'm smooth yet ungraceful - aggressive yet slow.

5. Why did you choose # 42?

1) Hitchhiker's Guide 2) LOST

It basically means that I'm the answer to the big question of life, the universe, and everything. Or the solution to the Valenzetti equation, if you prefer.

6. Your signature shot?

Right handed baby hook from the left block.

7. Have you ever kissed a basketball?

Hmm, I don't remember doing it, but it's so easy to imagine that I'll say yes. I will gladly do it if it's important for some reason. I used to enjoy catching a dirty hackey-sack in my mouth.

INJURY UPDATE: Nick's Wounded Foot

Last Monday Patrick decided to place all of his weight on Nick's foot. Nick felt an incredible amount of pain the next day, so he went to see a doctor. Turns out he has a small hairline fracture in his 2nd metatarsal. The injury has left Nick with 2 really bad results -- 1. a throbbing pain in his foot and 2. a forced fashion faux-pas: wearing suits with sneakers. no man should have to do that.

i'm tempted to change Nick's MAMBA name from Stallion to Bigfoot, but i don't know if he'd like it.

Nick was a good man who enjoyed eating antipasto, watching The Sopranos, and looking at Italy on a globe. He was fond of mozzarella and he will be missed. Return soon, Bigfoot.

stay tuned on Monday for an UP CLOSE & PERSONAL with Dan W. a.k.a Weevil.

n

Skills Tests

i've thought up a few skills tests to go along with the 3-pt. shooting contest...yet another way to infuse gambling into Mamba.

1. Passing Accuracy - 3 cones set up at varying distances. You have 1 minute to hit as many cones as you can. Closest cone is worth 1, next closest is worth 3, furthest cone worth 5. Most points wins.

2. Sharp Shooter - 60 seconds, sink as many buckets as you can. You are your own rebounder. no going inside the green line (the green line is the shortened 3 pt. line). Most points wins.

3. 6 shots - timed skills test. start at half court. sink 1 shot from 3-pt range (top of the key), 1 free throw, and 1 layup. Run to the opposite end of the court and do the same. Best time wins.

kevin a.k.a dr. sessions suggested mixing up the skills tests to keep things interesting. if anyone has any other ideas, add them in comments.

n

p.s. here's a shot of nick's bruised foot after patrick stepped on it. the injuries continue to mount.

new names and numbers

i put in the order for the mamba shirts (in black) today. below are our new identities:

Old Name	New Name / Number
Dan P	Workley, 7
Patrick W	Motorbreath, 102
Brian F	B-Flo, 77
Dan W	Weevil, 42
Phil B (R.I.P)	Eagle, 6
Neal C	Carlson, 41.6
Nick P	Stallion, 23
Kevin C	Dr. Sessions, 24
Louis K	Koster, 17
Rob P	Lightning, 8

i encourage all of you to take on these new names, not only in mamba, but in your professional and personal lives as well. have new business cards made up, monogram your work shirts, ask your lover to call you by your new name during sex, etc. This is who you are now....forever. embrace your new self.

my number is 41.6. This is also the number of my career FG%, which happens to be the highest in the league. yes, i know it's egotistical. but the world needed to know.

shirt orders go in today, we should have them in 10-14 days.

neal

need 2 players

we are 2 players short for monday's game (lou and phil). if anyone has any friends/relatives who want to play, send me an email.

neal

shirts

ok, i'm ready to order mamba shirts, but it's getting a little complicated with shirt colors. i've posted the most popular choices. pick your favorite and i'll order the color that gets the most votes:

3 point shooting contest results

monday was a big day for MAMBA - it marked the first 3 point shooting contest. here are the results (in shooting order):

Dan W - 4 points
Rob - 1 point
Kevin - 9 points
Charlie - 10 points
Nick - 7 points
Neal 13 points
Patrick - 4 points

i think the contest was a great success. afterwards Patrick started yapping something about the weight of the balls not being consistent, but i tuned out. come on dude, this is Mamba, not the olympics. man up.

going into the contest i feared facing the dangerous tom powers and the occasionally deadly hot shot koster. luckily for me, they canceled. now i have $12 in my pocket and i'm gonna take my lady out for a special meal at Sizzler. it's just that easy.

no game on next Monday, April 13. rest your knees and soak your disfigured finger in salt walter.

neal