Introducing Rustic Nerd

The future is just around the corner. Soon we will be able to send messages to each other through the airwaves and watch TV on small, handheld devices. It won't be long, trust me.

I have spent the waning moments of 2009 coming up with a new basketball identity, which I call Rustic Nerd. My new persona is a fusion of beardy lumberjack and circa 80s Gregory Hines in workout gear. Here's an idea of what I'm going for:


notice the joy on his face. i want that joy.

neal

No game on Dec. 28

There is no game on December 28. I, for one, will be devastated. What does a man do when the sport he loves is stolen from him? I suppose he eats elf-shaped cookies and kisses snowflakes.

Next Mamba game is January 4th. That day I will conduct a fitness test, tracking the time it takes each player to run one suicide. 6 months later I will time each player again to measure their change in speed. I'm convinced that our league has made us significantly faster.....this will prove it once and for all.

merry christmas, mamba.

neal

xmas gifts / BLACK MAMBA winners

Motorbreath has suggested that we each put in $5 and get a box of chocolates for the school principal and custodian. Is this a man overcome with christmas spirit? Hardly. This is someone who believes that by giving them gifts, they will "take care of us."

Leave it to the city government employee to develop a relationship built on special favors.

The Oven is a proud father....we'll call his new baby daughter the "Easy Bake Oven." she's probably already got a killer outside shot.

Black Mambas of the last game are Lightning (his 1st!!!!) and Carlson, each with 3 votes. still, i can't help but feel disappointed. only 9 people voted and this one came down to the wire. 1 vote could have changed everything....but i guess we'll never know.

bring $5 tonight.

You vs. A Drunk LeBron

Black Mamba - Game 3

Surprise Surprise.....Motorbreath takes another one. This award is not for the last league game, but the one before. Here's his basketball card and lifetime stats:

		Field Goals						Rebounds
	G	M	A	%	3M	3A	3%	O	D	T	Avg
08-09	7	46	147	31.3%				53	101	154	22.0
09-10	4	43	119	36.1%	0	4	0.0%	46	66	112	28.0
CAREER	11	89	266	33.5%	0	4	0.0%	99	167	266	24.2

									Dbl	Trp
	S	Avg.	Blk	Avg	A	Avg	TO	Avg	Dbl	Dbl	MVP	PPG
08-09	31	4.4	18	2.6	22	3.1			6	0	1	13.1
09-10	24	6.0	6	1.5	26	6.5	32	8.0	4	2	2	21.5
CAREER	55	5.0	24	2.2	48	4.4	32.0	8.0	10	2	3	16.2

Quiz Results

one thing is obvious.....very few of you are doing your basketball homework. these results make me feel nauseous. honest - i feel physically ill when I look at these scores. Here they are from worst to best:

Stallion - 20
Motorbreath - 40
Dutchman - 40
Weevil - 45
Lightning - 55
Dr. Sessions - 60
Eagle - 80

Stallion, you should be ashamed. 20 is very very sad. You're a dad now. You need to set a good example for your baby. Do your basketball homework, for god's sake.

Eagle, now I know why you are known as heartsweat. Your heart beats because of basketball. You sweat basketball. Basketball = love. It is no mystery you are the valedictorian. Behold, your sacred certificate:

Update

A few weeks back Dr. Sessions suggested having new Mamba shirts made up for the '09-10 season. If we agree to do it, we can have the second batch made in a different color so that way each player has two colors - home and away.

Ordering another round of Mamba shirts could also be a good idea for these reasons:

1. the welcome addition of Dutchman
2. several players have new names, such as:

• Stallion, aka The Oven or The Italian Oven
• Carlson, aka Moth, because I wear shirts which have been ravaged by moths
• Motorbreath, aka Fall, because he likes to fall down when he plays basketball
• and of course, Eagle, aka Heartsweat....the only man to sweat a heart on his chest.

2 players still haven't voted for the last league game Black Mamba. Vote now....it's a close one. Once i get those votes in I will post Black Mambas from the last two games.

if you haven't taken the Mamba quiz yet, take it. the player with the highest score gets a special prize.

n

Box score and Black Mamba voting

Final score: 82 - 78.

	FGM	FGA	FG%	3PM	3PA	3P%	OR	DR	Reb	Ast	Stl	Blk	TO	Pts
Workley	8	21	38.1%	0	0	0.0%	5	9	14	4	0	0	6	16
B-Flo	3	20	15.0%	0	0	0.0%	4	5	9	4	1	0	6	6
Sessions	5	32	15.6%	0	1	0.0%	6	6	12	2	5	0	6	10
Carlson	14	35	40.0%	2	4	50.0%	20	16	36	4	4	2	11	30
Motorbreath	10	32	31.3%	0	1	0.0%	15	23	38	6	7	1	10	20
Team	40	140	28.6%	2	6	33.3%	50	59	109	20	17	3	39	82
	FGM	FGA	FG%	3PM	3PA	3P%	OR	DR	Reb	Ast	Stl	Blk	TO	Pts
Lightning	5	17	29.4%	0	0	0.0%	4	6	10	5	11	0	9	10
Stallion	7	23	30.4%	0	3	0.0%	4	9	13	4	1	2	10	14
Eagle	19	52	36.5%	1	9	11.1%	4	9	13	5	10	1	3	39
Weevil	3	18	16.7%	0	4	0.0%	1	3	4	0	2	0	1	6
Dutchman	4	18	22.2%	1	6	16.7%	5	13	19	3	3	8	4	9
Team	38	128	29.7%	2	22	9.1%	18	40	59	17	27	11	27	78

Highlights:

• Eagle shatters previous scoring record of 32 pts (set just a week ago by Stallion) by scoring 39 points on an unfathomable 52 attempts.
• Lightning snatches Motorbreath's steal record (10) with 11 steals.
• Motorbreath takes Dutchman's rebound record (32) with 38.
• Lightning and Eagle join the triple double club. Well done!
• Carlson becomes the first player to score at least 30pts and 30 rebounds in a game.

This makes for an intriguing Black Mamba vote. Lightning has his best career game. Eagle scores half of his team's points. Carlson sets a new point/rebound record. Motorbreath plays his usual all-around game. Workley shoots 16% above his career avg. and doubles his rebound avg.